Sunday, 15 May 2011

Frosted Fragments Of Ice Swirling In A Snow Storm From Hell

Frosted fragments of ice swirling in a snowstorm from hell

Don’t you know,how I miss you so very much
All ties have been severed and we’re out of touch
I miss the way the smile was raised to my face
But now you’re gone without a single trace
I would write your name amongst the starry sky
Just imagine you looking up and staring starry eyed
Cross through the path of the ones walked before
The way im nostalgic keeps me cut up and sore
Its unthinkable to think things fell apart so badly
Despite all the one-way-ness of this I still love you madly

The few that are left ask me whats going on
I just shortly tell them everything is  wrong
Like an exam paper with nothing but a name
Its like every page is blank and empty and all the same
Im empty and struck all over with red incorrections
I wish I could fix and amend our severed connections
I cant focus,I cant seem to get a grip
Its how I feel cos I let something so valuable slip           
Scream your name into the darkness,it doesn’t make a sound
Into a small vial of deadly dark liquid my sadness compounds
Volatile,dropped,contaminating the air
Nobody tells you that life will ever be fair

Im grinding my teeth and my head’s starting to ache
Don’t think the severity of this I am trying to fake
Crossing my mind like a busy central town intersection
The way sadness has a hold on me is like a deathly infection
So I stare at a razor,in the light it gleams
Because its so sterile and perfectly clean
I think maybe it will fix for a while
It will put me back in without a faint trace of a smile,
Keeping hope,staying true with the days that just pass
Like a kid at a toyshop staring hopefully through the glass
Like a shadowy figure,across the landscape I walk
People point at me and slyly derogatorily talk

Why haven’t you handed it in,you said it was complete
I hang down my chin and look down to my feet
They have taken me on many a journey, to lands far away
Encased in a crypt of sadness I lie here and I stay
Subtle hints here and there from the mind of a trouble child
Don’t tell me that my troubles make yours seem mild
I’m not competing,if you think so you’re stupid and dumb
Like pink,I lie in my chair,but I’m uncomfortably numb
The outro begins and the sound slowly nullifies
With each verbal blow all he can do is just sigh
The pen speaks freely and the paper just listens
Diamonds are shiny,but blood also glistens
Last in line,and they’re all sold out on life

With my poetry to you,I tell of my strife.

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Say Goodnight To The Skellitons and Close The Closet

Scroll down through life and bring up the menu
Whats to be served cuts like a knife,
Tonight loneliness is eating me alive
Deleted,depleted,no chances left to spend
My battery is low and I am nearing my end
The sound this scene presents itself as a rigid metal melody,
I romance the thoughts of revival,even though chivalry is dead
The bursting anguish within is clouding my head
Sitting in class there in body but not present at all
Like I’ve lost my grip and have begun to fall
Squeak and stop and be brought to a halt,
Its too long to wait,im driving 90 without a seatbelt
But I reach my destination the car is parked and still
Open the glove compartment,it contains a gun with which to kill
Staring into the air and focused on nothing but bullshit

The ground is blackened and the grass is dried
That’s the very spot where one sat down and cried
My eyes are wide shut,my arms are wide open
Brittle and fragile,dropped and now broken
My head is aching and my heart isn’t breaking
It was broken with the wakening,
Take the shattered fragments,take them as a token
Because I always seem to be completely outspoken
Raise your tone to me,set me loose and let me be free
Cos right now there’s darkness as far as my eyes can see
A two stanza poem,for now,is all im gonna write,
Because at this moment im tired and wanna say goodnight
So goodnight to you all,I hope you dream sweet

While to the darkness of my bed,I'm now going to retreat.

Distorted Cinema Of Life

They say,keep your chin up it will all be okay
How do you keep your head held high,
When you feel like the weight of the world,
Is on your shoulders? Cold, numb and in disarray
Life flashes before my eyes.the flash is blinding
Yet I don’t see the happiness.trudge on and stumble
Yet get back up again.put on the mask of conformity
And carry on. Shaken, I stop and drop to my knees
If this is the life..i don’t know why it feels so good
Put a 9m slug in my right temple.

I shake the thought from my mind.
Yet it still screams its harshness from the background
 I wont lose. Refuse to accept defeat. It will not win
But for some reason neither can i.
I stop for a moment and glance over my shoulder
I see all the people that are left behind.
Or are they the ones that don’t care and are leaving me?
I light up a cigarette. Pull that smoke in deeply
Thinking of all the regret and what I’ve let slip
I am too nostalgic for my own good.

Watching each day fly past,
Like watching a filmstrip project a sad movie
Don’t sit down for one single minute and watch
It’s the drag you down factor.the boy is lonely
Where are the people that supposedly care.i want
To leave this cinema.but there is no escape.
The doors are trapped..falling asleep in
The cinema is not a wise might not wake.
I don’t need this.the cinema ticket cost so much
There is no refund.i also notice I am the only one sitting here
The cinema is empty.

And yet again I feel obsolete

Flickering Flame

The flickering flame casts a shadow
Yet it sheds light too,
Left in the dark with no light source but you,
The flame got snuffed and the lights went out
Thirsty for acceptance but stuck in a drought
Let the hot wax drip,it is hot to be felt
A major burn I guess I was dealt
Feel the warmth or get burnt for being wreckless
Im wearing this agony like a cursed locket necklace
Take a cigarette lit off the flame and flick the ash
Discarded.i am a vial piece of trash

Not a day goes by where I forget of that feeling
The way I got burnt has now left me seething
I was warned the flame was blistering hot
But cold brittle wax whats left I have got
I want the light to come back,I want the wick to burn
For the warmth and its presence it shed,everyday I yearn
Have you heard about the matchsticks?
They are brittle and weak,
They are useless and faulty and their mind,they don’t speak
Cold and liquefied,have you got ignition for me?
The spark I have isn’t enough,can you not see?

My candle Has broken,the string wick is blackened
It can serve one more purpose though,I’ll tie up some loose ends
Because it seems just impossible to make true amends
From my side I ignite,but it all comes to nothing,
It ends in a fight
So it seems I will snuff out the burning string
I’ll just go to sleep,with the thought of the candle in my dreams
That’s all that can stay true.the ignition is me..

And the Candle Is You..

The Realisation Of Loneliness

Sink to the floor at the sight I have seen
Incomprehensible loneliness and grievous loss
Feeling numb and completely crushed
I am broken again and cant pick up the pieces
Remnants of a fragile existence
I try to pick up the shards but in turn my fingers are cut
I look down at my hands,
The limbs with which I cant seem to grasp anything dear
I pick up my markers and walk out the door
Because I simply cant carry on living,
Like this anymore.

This wind that is blowing is cutting and cold
And I am alone,again,broken and in dispair.
Saline drops begin to fall from my cheek
My eyes are lifeless and I’m cold and weak
Bombarded with despair,I must escape
When such a feeling strikes,dark thoughts speak
Saying “overdose on your pills and fall to sleep
You will not wake up and you’ll have your release
Just swallow those pills and rest in peace.”
Once more I shake the thought from my mind
I mission on,and it seems that to my anguish,
The world is blind

A car pulls up behind me,
“Are you ok son?” asks the driver worriedly
A teardrop falls from my eyes and I say
“don’t worry im tired but I’ll be alright”
Usually my markers free me of my bleak emotions
But for some reason its not working tonight
I put in my headphones and turn up my music loud
A melancholy tune begins to play
And with every word I can completely relate
I have walked too far and I contemplate not going back
But I turn around..and begin to drag myself home

I enter the house its dead and quiet,
For a house isn’t a home unless thers joy inside it
This seems all to familiar and i know why
This is me inside and the reason I cry.
A lack of sleep brings the realization of obsoletion,
I watch as the sun rises with its bright gleaming light
But in this instance its still dark as night and im lost within and cold
I get up from my bed and look in the mirror
Its rather strange when you don’t recognize the lifeless figure looking back at you
but the cold harsh reality strikes me hard

Obsolete and alone


A week it has been
And now im feeling so weak
A day in the daily fray
Take me back I beg the words you will say
Cut off like an infected limb
The reality is true but its horribly grim
Left behind I stand solitary and alone..
And this is how it goes with the voice of deafening tone
I hear the words that were said fade into nothing,theyr gone
And now this is how I say everything is fallen apart and is wrong
I fucked shit up badly,like a picture with paint splashed over
But this is my testament,burning from my horrific crash
Ripped apart and the pieces are gone with the wind
Forgive me please I know I have sinned
Im hanging off this cliff.its a long way down
And as I lose my grip I slowly start to drown
That time seems so distant..what the fuck happened?
I im not like anyone infact im completely different
Sit where you one comforted was cold and I was lost
To the side unwanted,to the peripheral,I am tossed
Breathing heavily I have run so far,
Pulling in hot smoke and inhaling that tar
I walk on and see your face,but its not you
You are gone completely,without a trace
Crossed the line that I drew in the first place
Failing to maintain the “nothing is wrong” face
Driving you away into the sunset..gone and not coming back
Watch as my eyes are turning from brown to black

Shudder at the realization the found missing piece,is now gone once more
This life and this everyday bullshit is what I abhor
 Cryogenically frozen inside.colder than the freezer in which you reside
Understood once.but now gone and not coming back for good
You let me go but im still in your grip
My heart felt whole but now its all ripped
Cold metallic malice in my mouth,if I do die,im going down south
Venom in my words I seem to hold true
I misplaced it wrongly,it was let out on you
I still hold you dear even though to you im not even near
If I called out your name you wont even hear
Wake from the nightmare but enter a different one
Without you life is a sad and hopless song
I slipped.i’ve fallen,in your name I lie dead

Nobody answers the call and I lie here alone on my bed

A cigarette In the ashtray

Light up a cigarette
Yet another regret,lost within but I’l never forget
Cold and wet, and rainy
With the hope of tomorrow bringing better days
But I’m awake, and the the hope is gone but the anguish stays
Blast my music loud so I cant hear the fighting no more
Another face in a crowd. I lie here on the floor
Steam forms from my breath, a sign I’m still breathing
But with gloom brings death, and I consider leaving
But I bite the bullet instead of letting it penetrate me
Who knew living could devastate me

Let the ash blow away, it will soon be gone
The grind is rough and the day is long
The old healed laserations on my arms will give confession
They will tell you the story of my dark cold depression
Let it leak from my veins,dry out the stains
Marred and drenched with wretched disdain
Hang my head and let the rain run down the windows
Walk along like nothing is wrong,
But deep within me the life has long since left.
Induced oblivion, numbness is welcomed
For a few hours im happy.then soberness comes

Belittled, forgotten, left to the peripheral
What an epiphany, please come tell me it’ll all be alright
But don’t tell me its gods plan and that this is my plight
Take your view of me and purge it, I wont reinvent myself
Even though I’d love to but I still refrain and prevent myself
Protest the anguish and live in a rut,
But see now what happens when yor lifeline’s been cut
Phone a friend, 50-50, whatever you may call it
Life is an illusion and I simply wont fall for it
Pills get ingested but happiness cant be
Cant you hear me cry out, or can you not see me?

Its ok but its not alright
All is wrong and im losing my sight,
I cant see the future, im not psychic to do so
Pass me by without looking,its not going to hurt me
It happens so often that I hold a sign that says ‘abuse me for free”
Throw a punch,blast a bullet and I’ll be greatful
Society, I can see your eyes and they’re dark and all hateful
But don’t think I’m pleading for anything cos I simply shall not
All my life this has been going and myself is all I have got
But for those who stand by me I couldn’t be more appreciative
I might not show it and you might not know it but its not something native

Its held deep within that does not mean it doesn’t exist,
I just don’t show it
Cos life has me handcuffed and I cant wave, when my wrists are restrained
And from happiness I feel forcefully refrained,
do not think im enjoying this,
Because you couldn’t be more wrong,
 I hate what I am,so I’m going away and soon I’ll be gone
Toss me a penny,I’ll drop its clumsily, Its hard to grasp something
When you’re brought to your knees.
Free me I beg,I beg of you please.its impossible but please try
When I do go please do not break down or cry
The windows of your soul are your eyes the all say
But don’t bother knocking,the windows are drawn shut,
And the residents are dead, when life is astray and the reason seems gone

I feel like a cigarette in an ash tray that is frowned upon and deemed wrong