Thursday, 12 May 2011

A cigarette In the ashtray

Light up a cigarette
Yet another regret,lost within but I’l never forget
Cold and wet, and rainy
With the hope of tomorrow bringing better days
But I’m awake, and the the hope is gone but the anguish stays
Blast my music loud so I cant hear the fighting no more
Another face in a crowd. I lie here on the floor
Steam forms from my breath, a sign I’m still breathing
But with gloom brings death, and I consider leaving
But I bite the bullet instead of letting it penetrate me
Who knew living could devastate me

Let the ash blow away, it will soon be gone
The grind is rough and the day is long
The old healed laserations on my arms will give confession
They will tell you the story of my dark cold depression
Let it leak from my veins,dry out the stains
Marred and drenched with wretched disdain
Hang my head and let the rain run down the windows
Walk along like nothing is wrong,
But deep within me the life has long since left.
Induced oblivion, numbness is welcomed
For a few hours im happy.then soberness comes

Belittled, forgotten, left to the peripheral
What an epiphany, please come tell me it’ll all be alright
But don’t tell me its gods plan and that this is my plight
Take your view of me and purge it, I wont reinvent myself
Even though I’d love to but I still refrain and prevent myself
Protest the anguish and live in a rut,
But see now what happens when yor lifeline’s been cut
Phone a friend, 50-50, whatever you may call it
Life is an illusion and I simply wont fall for it
Pills get ingested but happiness cant be
Cant you hear me cry out, or can you not see me?

Its ok but its not alright
All is wrong and im losing my sight,
I cant see the future, im not psychic to do so
Pass me by without looking,its not going to hurt me
It happens so often that I hold a sign that says ‘abuse me for free”
Throw a punch,blast a bullet and I’ll be greatful
Society, I can see your eyes and they’re dark and all hateful
But don’t think I’m pleading for anything cos I simply shall not
All my life this has been going and myself is all I have got
But for those who stand by me I couldn’t be more appreciative
I might not show it and you might not know it but its not something native

Its held deep within that does not mean it doesn’t exist,
I just don’t show it
Cos life has me handcuffed and I cant wave, when my wrists are restrained
And from happiness I feel forcefully refrained,
do not think im enjoying this,
Because you couldn’t be more wrong,
 I hate what I am,so I’m going away and soon I’ll be gone
Toss me a penny,I’ll drop its clumsily, Its hard to grasp something
When you’re brought to your knees.
Free me I beg,I beg of you please.its impossible but please try
When I do go please do not break down or cry
The windows of your soul are your eyes the all say
But don’t bother knocking,the windows are drawn shut,
And the residents are dead, when life is astray and the reason seems gone

I feel like a cigarette in an ash tray that is frowned upon and deemed wrong

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