Frosted Fragments Of Ice Swirling In A Snow Storm From Hell

Frosted fragments of ice swirling in a snowstorm from hell

Don’t you know,how I miss you so very much

All ties have been severed and we’re out of touch

I miss the way the smile was raised to my face

But now you’re gone without a single trace

I would write your name amongst the starry sky

Just imagine you looking up and staring starry eyed

Cross through the path of the ones walked before

The way im nostalgic keeps me cut up and sore

Its unthinkable to think things fell apart so badly

Despite all the one-way-ness of this I still love you madly

The few that are left ask me whats going on

I just shortly tell them everything is  wrong

Like an exam paper with nothing but a name

Its like every page is blank and empty and all the same

Im empty and struck all over with red incorrections

I wish I could fix and amend our severed connections

I cant focus,I cant seem to get a grip

Its how I feel cos I let something so valuable slip           

Scream your name into the darkness,it doesn’t make a sound

Into a small vial of deadly dark liquid my sadness compounds

Volatile,dropped,contaminating the air

Nobody tells you that life will ever be fair

Im grinding my teeth and my head’s starting to ache

Don’t think the severity of this I am trying to fake

Crossing my mind like a busy central town intersection

The way sadness has a hold on me is like a deathly infection

So I stare at a razor,in the light it gleams

Because its so sterile and perfectly clean

I think maybe it will fix for a while

It will put me back in without a faint trace of a smile,

Keeping hope,staying true with the days that just pass

Like a kid at a toyshop staring hopefully through the glass

Like a shadowy figure,across the landscape I walk

People point at me and slyly derogatorily talk

Why haven’t you handed it in,you said it was complete

I hang down my chin and look down to my feet

They have taken me on many a journey, to lands far away

Encased in a crypt of sadness I lie here and I stay

Subtle hints here and there from the mind of a trouble child

Don’t tell me that my troubles make yours seem mild

I’m not competing,if you think so you’re stupid and dumb

Like pink,I lie in my chair,but I’m uncomfortably numb

The outro begins and the sound slowly nullifies

With each verbal blow all he can do is just sigh

The pen speaks freely and the paper just listens

Diamonds are shiny,but blood also glistens

Last in line,and they’re all sold out on life

With my poetry to you,I tell of my strife.

Say Goodnight To The Skellitons and Close The Closet

Scroll down through life and bring up the menu

Whats to be served cuts like a knife,

Tonight loneliness is eating me alive

Deleted,depleted,no chances left to spend

My battery is low and I am nearing my end

The sound this scene presents itself as a rigid metal melody,

I romance the thoughts of revival,even though chivalry is dead

The bursting anguish within is clouding my head

Sitting in class there in body but not present at all

Like I’ve lost my grip and have begun to fall

Squeak and stop and be brought to a halt,

Its too long to wait,im driving 90 without a seatbelt

But I reach my destination the car is parked and still

Open the glove compartment,it contains a gun with which to kill

Staring into the air and focused on nothing but bullshit

The ground is blackened and the grass is dried

That’s the very spot where one sat down and cried

My eyes are wide shut,my arms are wide open

Brittle and fragile,dropped and now broken

My head is aching and my heart isn’t breaking

It was broken with the wakening,

Take the shattered fragments,take them as a token

Because I always seem to be completely outspoken

Raise your tone to me,set me loose and let me be free

Cos right now there’s darkness as far as my eyes can see

A two stanza poem,for now,is all im gonna write,

Because at this moment im tired and wanna say goodnight

So goodnight to you all,I hope you dream sweet

While to the darkness of my bed,I'm now going to retreat.

Distorted Cinema Of Life

They say,keep your chin up it will all be okay

How do you keep your head held high,

When you feel like the weight of the world,

Is on your shoulders? Cold, numb and in disarray

Life flashes before my eyes.the flash is blinding

Yet I don’t see the happiness.trudge on and stumble

Yet get back up again.put on the mask of conformity

And carry on. Shaken, I stop and drop to my knees

If this is the life..i don’t know why it feels so good

Put a 9m slug in my right temple.

I shake the thought from my mind.

Yet it still screams its harshness from the background

 I wont lose. Refuse to accept defeat. It will not win

But for some reason neither can i.

I stop for a moment and glance over my shoulder

I see all the people that are left behind.

Or are they the ones that don’t care and are leaving me?

I light up a cigarette. Pull that smoke in deeply

Thinking of all the regret and what I’ve let slip

I am too nostalgic for my own good.

Watching each day fly past,

Like watching a filmstrip project a sad movie

Don’t sit down for one single minute and watch

It’s the drag you down factor.the boy is lonely

Where are the people that supposedly care.i want

To leave this cinema.but there is no escape.

The doors are locked.im trapped..falling asleep in

The cinema is not a wise idea..you might not wake.

I don’t need this.the cinema ticket cost so much

There is no refund.i also notice I am the only one sitting here

The cinema is empty.

And yet again I feel obsolete

Flickering Flame

The flickering flame casts a shadow

Yet it sheds light too,

Left in the dark with no light source but you,

The flame got snuffed and the lights went out

Thirsty for acceptance but stuck in a drought

Let the hot wax drip,it is hot to be felt

A major burn I guess I was dealt

Feel the warmth or get burnt for being wreckless

Im wearing this agony like a cursed locket necklace

Take a cigarette lit off the flame and flick the ash

Discarded.i am a vial piece of trash

Not a day goes by where I forget of that feeling

The way I got burnt has now left me seething

I was warned the flame was blistering hot

But cold brittle wax whats left I have got

I want the light to come back,I want the wick to burn

For the warmth and its presence it shed,everyday I yearn

Have you heard about the matchsticks?

They are brittle and weak,

They are useless and faulty and their mind,they don’t speak

Cold and liquefied,have you got ignition for me?

The spark I have isn’t enough,can you not see?

My candle Has broken,the string wick is blackened

It can serve one more purpose though,I’ll tie up some loose ends

Because it seems just impossible to make true amends

From my side I ignite,but it all comes to nothing,

It ends in a fight

So it seems I will snuff out the burning string

I’ll just go to sleep,with the thought of the candle in my dreams

That’s all that can stay true.the ignition is me..

And the Candle Is You..

The Realisation Of Loneliness

Sink to the floor at the sight I have seen

Incomprehensible loneliness and grievous loss

Feeling numb and completely crushed

I am broken again and cant pick up the pieces

Remnants of a fragile existence

I try to pick up the shards but in turn my fingers are cut

I look down at my hands,

The limbs with which I cant seem to grasp anything dear

I pick up my markers and walk out the door

Because I simply cant carry on living,

Like this anymore.

This wind that is blowing is cutting and cold

And I am alone,again,broken and in dispair.

Saline drops begin to fall from my cheek

My eyes are lifeless and I’m cold and weak

Bombarded with despair,I must escape

When such a feeling strikes,dark thoughts speak

Saying “overdose on your pills and fall to sleep

You will not wake up and you’ll have your release

Just swallow those pills and rest in peace.”

Once more I shake the thought from my mind

I mission on,and it seems that to my anguish,

The world is blind

A car pulls up behind me,

“Are you ok son?” asks the driver worriedly

A teardrop falls from my eyes and I say

“don’t worry im tired but I’ll be alright”

Usually my markers free me of my bleak emotions

But for some reason its not working tonight

I put in my headphones and turn up my music loud

A melancholy tune begins to play

And with every word I can completely relate

I have walked too far and I contemplate not going back

But I turn around..and begin to drag myself home

I enter the house its dead and quiet,

For a house isn’t a home unless thers joy inside it

This seems all to familiar and i know why

This is me inside and the reason I cry.

A lack of sleep brings the realization of obsoletion,

I watch as the sun rises with its bright gleaming light

But in this instance its still dark as night and im lost within and cold

I get up from my bed and look in the mirror

Its rather strange when you don’t recognize the lifeless figure looking back at you

but the cold harsh reality strikes me hard

Obsolete and alone

Unresponsive

A week it has been

And now im feeling so weak

A day in the daily fray

Take me back I beg the words you will say

Cut off like an infected limb

The reality is true but its horribly grim

Left behind I stand solitary and alone..

And this is how it goes with the voice of deafening tone

I hear the words that were said fade into nothing,theyr gone

And now this is how I say everything is fallen apart and is wrong

I fucked shit up badly,like a picture with paint splashed over

But this is my testament,burning from my horrific crash

Ripped apart and the pieces are gone with the wind

Forgive me please I know I have sinned

                               

Im hanging off this cliff.its a long way down

And as I lose my grip I slowly start to drown

That time seems so distant..what the fuck happened?

I im not like anyone infact im completely different

Sit where you one comforted me.it was cold and I was lost

To the side unwanted,to the peripheral,I am tossed

Breathing heavily I have run so far,

Pulling in hot smoke and inhaling that tar

I walk on and see your face,but its not you

You are gone completely,without a trace

Crossed the line that I drew in the first place

Failing to maintain the “nothing is wrong” face

Driving you away into the sunset..gone and not coming back

Watch as my eyes are turning from brown to black

Shudder at the realization the found missing piece,is now gone once more

This life and this everyday bullshit is what I abhor

 Cryogenically frozen inside.colder than the freezer in which you reside

Understood once.but now gone and not coming back for good

You let me go but im still in your grip

My heart felt whole but now its all ripped

Cold metallic malice in my mouth,if I do die,im going down south

Venom in my words I seem to hold true

I misplaced it wrongly,it was let out on you

I still hold you dear even though to you im not even near

If I called out your name you wont even hear

Wake from the nightmare but enter a different one

Without you life is a sad and hopless song

I slipped.i’ve fallen,in your name I lie dead

Nobody answers the call and I lie here alone on my bed

A cigarette In the ashtray

 

Light up a cigarette

Yet another regret,lost within but I’l never forget

Cold and wet, and rainy

With the hope of tomorrow bringing better days

But I’m awake, and the the hope is gone but the anguish stays

Blast my music loud so I cant hear the fighting no more

Another face in a crowd. I lie here on the floor

Steam forms from my breath, a sign I’m still breathing

But with gloom brings death, and I consider leaving

But I bite the bullet instead of letting it penetrate me

Who knew living could devastate me

Let the ash blow away, it will soon be gone

The grind is rough and the day is long

The old healed laserations on my arms will give confession

They will tell you the story of my dark cold depression

Let it leak from my veins,dry out the stains

Marred and drenched with wretched disdain

Hang my head and let the rain run down the windows

Walk along like nothing is wrong,

But deep within me the life has long since left.

Induced oblivion, numbness is welcomed

For a few hours im happy.then soberness comes

Belittled, forgotten, left to the peripheral

What an epiphany, please come tell me it’ll all be alright

But don’t tell me its gods plan and that this is my plight

Take your view of me and purge it, I wont reinvent myself

Even though I’d love to but I still refrain and prevent myself

Protest the anguish and live in a rut,

But see now what happens when yor lifeline’s been cut

Phone a friend, 50-50, whatever you may call it

Life is an illusion and I simply wont fall for it

Pills get ingested but happiness cant be

Cant you hear me cry out, or can you not see me?

Its ok but its not alright

All is wrong and im losing my sight,

I cant see the future, im not psychic to do so

Pass me by without looking,its not going to hurt me

It happens so often that I hold a sign that says ‘abuse me for free”

Throw a punch,blast a bullet and I’ll be greatful

Society, I can see your eyes and they’re dark and all hateful

But don’t think I’m pleading for anything cos I simply shall not

All my life this has been going and myself is all I have got

But for those who stand by me I couldn’t be more appreciative

I might not show it and you might not know it but its not something native

Its held deep within that does not mean it doesn’t exist,

I just don’t show it

Cos life has me handcuffed and I cant wave, when my wrists are restrained

And from happiness I feel forcefully refrained,

do not think im enjoying this,

Because you couldn’t be more wrong,

 I hate what I am,so I’m going away and soon I’ll be gone

Toss me a penny,I’ll drop its clumsily, Its hard to grasp something

When you’re brought to your knees.

Free me I beg,I beg of you please.its impossible but please try

When I do go please do not break down or cry

The windows of your soul are your eyes the all say

But don’t bother knocking,the windows are drawn shut,

And the residents are dead, when life is astray and the reason seems gone

I feel like a cigarette in an ash tray that is frowned upon and deemed wrong